Dear Lord,
Lately, there's been a lot of testing down here in the form of people. I'm not sure why it seems to be incessant but You keep providing this testing in all different ways. There was that one person who was so angry at me and cursed my name and character because I enforced the rules and protected who and what I needed to protect. I didn't yell back at them. I didn't curse at them. I still got glares, rude gestures, and a sense of unrest anytime I passed them. I didn't pay them any attention and tried to move on the best I could. It wasn't hard to put this person out of my mind, but with You, I tried.
Then there were people who didn't show up when they said they were going to show up. Doesn't seem like a big deal but when you make plans based on what someone's told you and when they told you, it starts to mess the plan up. You learn that our plans are not your plans. So you soldier on. Keep working. Doing what you can with the people you may or may not have show up. Guess what, we're still ahead of schedule so Your plan must be working. Still trying to trust.....
Then, when some people did show up, they created more work, more headache, than what would have happened if they hadn't ever shown up in the first place. I wish you had never shown up in the first place.
As if it hasn't been rough enough lately, then someone quits on us two weeks before staff training. Someone who we have planned on having for months, are in need of their skills and qualifications, and there is no one else that we had recruited who had those sets of skills. Disappointed? Greatly. Mad? Yeah at first. I thought I'd talked enough into them that sticking to what you say you're going to do, to being loyal, to keeping a promise. I didn't try to guilt them back as easy as that could have been, that would have brought them back for the wrong reasons. I wanted them to want to come back, to realize what God could have in store for them, and to trust You. It didn't work out like I wanted and while our plans haven't crumbled to the ground, it has certainly thrown a wrench into them. It'll mean more work for me this summer but I just gotta deal I guess.
And even tonight I find out that someone is not going to show up at the start of their contract, but a full 36 hours afterwards. Not a big deal you might think but when their first day is a huge day of trail rides and you've been expecting them, then it becomes a big deal.
So, God, I'm done. It can stop. I don't want to lose faith in people and I want to trust that they will do what they say they'll do, even though I know they are not perfect and never can be. It's You I trust and have faith in but I'm tired. I'm still working hard and expecting a fantastic summer. It will be a good summer. I know it will be. Just help me get through this period of testing. Thanks. Amen.
Lord I Need You Video
