Listening and Acting-What to do with that still small voice

Just the other day I was going through my work email account, cleaning out emails and trying to reduce the number of pages.  I came across a 2006 email  from a old counselor friend of mine and it took me back to one of the roughest summers I had at camp.  This was a summer filled with strife, contention, rebellious hearts, and heavy decisions.  While it was a hard, challenging summer and it tested me and my leadership, I learned so much from those 3 months.  Some of it was hard to hear about myself but I was able to take the criticism, learn from it, and grow immensely as a leader.  What I had done at the end of the summer, after the stress had died down some, was to ask a few counselors what their thoughts were of the summer, things that could have gone differently, and what I could have done to make the situation better.  I had saved her response from those 6 years ago.

That summer was not my greatest by any stretch of the imagination. But what God did allow to happen was for me to learn so much about myself and ways to change. I think without even remembering it, I took so much of what she said and started to improve myself as a leader. The concepts....I remember them each summer and apply them. It's even written down in my office but I wouldn't have been able to tell you where they had come from! Things so simple as being very specific with praise and concerns (Don't say, "You're doing a good job" because what are they doing well?), listening to the counselors and considering their ideas even if I know that the idea they have proposed hasn't worked in the past, looking at my job as being more a mentor to my counselors, making them a part of the decision/idea process, etc. I think I handle myself much better as a leader nowadays and, in an off beat way, I can attribute some of that to my worst summer because I learned so much and changed. That was only my second summer actually leading up there and my first was "easy" with the likes of some of the counselors.  Once 2006 came around, I didn't know how to handle some of the other personalities within our unit and there were very strong, somewhat defiant, personalities.  A good friend of mine at the time was coming back for her third summer. And in my mind she had changed so much over that year but I was never able to put my finger on it.  Since I was unable to be specific with her and I didn't know how to handle the friendship/boss line and be able to guide her better, things started to go downhill over the summer.  I didn't know how to handle the growing dissent in the unit and then tried putting the hammer down and trying to regain what control there might be left.  Unfortunately, relationships went from bad to worse and before I knew it, a friendship was lost.  I tried desperately to fix it over the next year or so but I realized that even though I apologized, asked forgiveness, and tried to help her see that I never betrayed a secret, I had to accept that it was over for now.  A hard lesson but I'm glad that for 3 years, we were good friends.  Sometimes the people in our lives choose a different road than us.  I certainly screwed a thing or two up but I apologized, asked for forgiveness, and left my heart open to her.  That's all we can do in the end.

I realized I had also come so far in leadership when I had a past counselor contacted me, asking for advice because I was "her mentor". I had never thought about myself like that. I spent lots of time with her last summer-some praise, some rebuke. She was a young kid who needed someone to just help her out, talk to her, and guide her.  She had a good heart under all that and I wanted that part of her to come out. And I realized this winter when I met up with her again that she was a changed person. I remember when a past counselor and I talking once, how I thought I was there for the campers and she disagreed and thought I was there to help counselors. I didn't see it at the time but really, I am here for the counselors. To help lift them up, to become better people, and when I do that and support them, I help the kids too because I help make better counselors who can then help develop stronger kids.

So after reflection on that summer, I felt compelled to write that counselor after 6 years just to say that first, I'd kept her email and that second, that email still meant so much to me.  It was an incredibly motivating factor and I deeply appreciated her honesty.  I thought she might laugh at the thought of me writing to her about something that happened so long ago.  However, if God ever urges you to do something whether it's write to someone, call them, or even lays them upon your heart to pray....do it!  Do not ignore it.  My message wasn't laughed at at all.  This friend had just gone through some relationship stuff where she has chosen to speak the truth and it ended up offending the others.  She needed that encouragement that it's okay to speak the truth in love because that's what God wants us to do.  It reminded her to be truthful and that we need a friend like that sometimes.  Perfect timing.....God's timing.....so never, never ignore the voice, the urge, the feeling.  That's God and He's telling you to do something.

Peace I Leave With You

This morning, our Beth Moore Bible study focused on peace.  We've been studying the fruits of the spirit and as usual, Beth hits it home in challenging us to live beyond ourselves.  What is the difference between a peace keeper and a peace maker?  A peace keeper will avoid conflict and attempt to keep peace, even unhealthy peace, at all costs.  A peace maker can be at peace even when the circumstances surrounding him are anything but peaceful.  The two opponents of peace are the keepers of false peace and lovers of contention.  The keepers of false peace are usually motivated by fear or distrust, attempt to keep the peace around them at any cost, and this peace is unhealthy.  One of the primary definitions of "shalom" is health.  Therefore, unhealthy peacekeeping is an oxymoron.  On the other side we have the lovers of contention.  They are motivated by misery, power, and a lack of discipline.  You've probably met a few of these people.  Those who like to stir the pot, get everyone riled up, cause trouble wherever they go.  Maybe they are miserable so they want others to be miserable too.  They seek power for if you alone can stir everyone up, you have taken control of their emotions and the environment.  However, peace does not come from your circumstances.  Peace doesn't come with the resolution of a problem or situation.  Peace first comes from Christ, God, from authority.  Yes, peace comes with authority.  Now that didn't make the best sense to me until I finally related it to something I could understand.....our relationship with the horse.

I have often seen an owner with an undisciplined horse.  They don't correct the horse, don't give it boundaries and rules, and they don't have authority over that horse.  Perhaps they fear that in confronting their horse, correcting them, that they will spoil their relationship with the horse or disrupt the peace that they appear to have. However this is an unhealthy, false peace.  It is no peace at all.  In fact, this peace is dangerous.  That horse could, at any moment, run the person over because they've never been taught to first ask permission before they entered a person's space and they've never been taught to respect a human who might be telling them to back away, move out of the way.  This is dangerous, unhealthy, and not even close to peace.  Why?  Because there is no authority in the relationship.  Now, if you've taught your horse to respect you, respect your space, and to be submissive, you have created peace.  You aren't keeping it, you are making it.  You are the authority, the boss, and the horse has learned to respect that.  They will wait for you to invite them into their stall, they won't walk on top of you when you're leading them, and they are less likely to run you over.  You are the authority and there is peace in the relationship.  Now switch the roles.  God is the authority, you are the horse.  Your peace comes when you are under His leadership, when you give Him the reins.  Once again, our relationship with the horse has mirrored our relationship with God.

As Beth said, we fall into either the lovers of contention or the peace keeper category.  I feel like I could fall more towards the peace keeper category.  I try to avoid conflict and I would rather sacrifice a bit on my part to make sure that everyone else is happy.  But that's not peace, not true peace.  However I've learned a lot about confrontation, about conflict, and as the years go on and I grow, it's definitely something I'm doing much better in.  I'd have to say that there are 2 circumstances where I don't feel at peace with yet and they are the two circumstances that haven't been completely resolved in my book.  Why?  Because I never had the chance to talk about it and it doesn't feel resolved.  Those two circumstances still bring up strong emotions.  Not resolved, not at complete peace.  However, if I've had the opportunity to share my feelings and talk through a particular circumstance, I can honestly say that I'm at peace about it and I move on from it.  There are times when I have to talk to a counselor and potentially stir up conflict by bringing up something they are doing wrong or that they need to do better.  Not a comfortable thing to do.  But once I've confronted them, it's like everything's been reset.  The slate's been wiped clean, as clean as I humanly can.  I've had them come back to me asking if I was still upset with them or they act like they are still in trouble with me.  Not at all.  I try to not hold grudges, to not be offended, to to remember my place in this world.  And the same with my friendships.  Issues might arise here and there but if we keep on top of them, then we can move on forward and forget it.  It's also very freeing to be in that kind of relationship.

So where does peace come from again?  Ultimately, it came with Christ, when He came into the world, with His authority.  Our sinful nature resists peace.  The government is on His shoulders, He is the authority, and He brought peace with Him and He left it with us.  In the midst of trials and tribulations, we can have peace because we have hope.  We grieve but not as those without hope.  "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Thanks for all the Memories!

This week, our "head boss", "big man", "head honcho" of Camp Tecumseh, Dave Wright announced his retirement after 40 years of service.  I know that the decision for Dave was a hard one, yet an easy one at the same time.  He had decided that it was time to do everything he had always pushed to "someday" and spend more time with his grandchild/family.  But deciding when to leave a place where you've spent over half of your life?  I can't imagine the decision.  While Dave has always said that it's his team, his staff, that make camp go and be successful, it has been our leader who's helped propel us to one of the greatest camps in the country.  Dave inspired us to do our best, enabled us to take ownership of our program area of camp, and to never be satisfied with "good enough".  He's a visionary, always looking years ahead to see potential problems, possible improvements, and thwart any risks/threats to our camp.  Dave exemplified service.  We were encouraged to do anything "for the good of camp."  It was not uncommon to see our executive director picking up any trash he saw, making sure our presentation was solid, inside and out, and that everything, every little detail, was attended too.  Why would you send your child to camp if they didn't take care of the details, care about cleanliness or clutter?  I didn't feel as though I worked for Dave, but that I worked with him, with camp.  It took all of us, working together, to keep the machine of camp going.  Yes, he was the guy who we had to answer to and I certainly felt a pang of nervousness if I was called up to his office.  It wasn't usually because I'd done something overtly wrong, but Dave saw things that we didn't always see.  His eye was attuned differently than ours.  Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world that we don't see it from an "outside" perspective but Dave was always looking at things from the viewpoint of a camper parent, potential donor, etc.  I also remember the surprise calls when he wanted to congratulate you on something.  I won't forget the high five I got after making the chicken breed boards.  He came up to me asking, "Who made those boards at the mini farm?"  "Um, me...."  "Good job!"  Me....nervous laugh.  hahaha  I also remember Dave making his way around the lunch time tables during my first staff training introducing himself and giving everyone he met a hand shake.  Dave was never above us, always giving credit to his staff.  We knew that retirement was in the future.  And when he called a mandatory staff meeting with "special guests", speculations abounded as to a possible announcement.  Now begins the search for a new director.  We have an awesome board of directors and I know that God will bless their efforts.  With change comes uncertainty.  Camp Tecumseh wasn't in the greatest place back when Dave first started but the "C" was  put back into the YMCA and with a lot of hard work, camp has made itself one of the premiere camps in the country.  Will this new director be a good solid Christian man, a visionary, able to not only keep camp at its present level but to keep us rising?  What will his new philosophies, leadership style, vision be?  I feel comforted that we still have our present leadership still here, that the foundation that we have been built on is still here, and that God is still our center.  Yes, change can be difficult but should not be feared. It'll be a new chapter in a book that will hopefully have several more chapters to go.


So, in closing, thanks for all the years Dave.  You have made us better people, you believed in me, and you've been a fantastic leader.  The rest of us will continue the work that has been set in motion.  Thank you seems inadequate.  Thanks for the memories, thanks for the service.  Noonway.

Camp Tecumseh Making Headlines

Best Camp in the States

Recovery Road

Wow.  The last week hasn't been anything I want to repeat.....ever......again.  My foot had been healing up oh so very nicely over the past week.  I woke up Friday and it hurt a little more than usual but I popped a few pills and off to work I went.  It remained a little more tender than usual throughout the day but nothing that wasn't tolerable.  By the time 11 pm on Friday night came around, the pain was unbearable.  I took a few of the most powerful pain pills I'd been prescribed and felt that a phone call to my dad was needed.  I knew he would be asleep and I hate waking him up.  We decided that I'd call the center the next day and try to find a doc on call.  I woke up about 5 am in pain again and took a few more pills.  I went back to sleep until mid morning when I called the doctor.  My foot could not tolerate any weight and was incredibly swollen at this point.  The doc was concerned about any redness (which there wasn't any at the time) and thought that between the two ideas of infection or overuse, overuse was the more likely cause.  Turns out that my parents were already on the way to my house in a round about way of getting to David's for the boy's birthday party and to see first hand what was going on with my foot.  By the time they got to my house, my foot was bright red and swollen to perhaps twice it's normal size.  He called back the center and got a recommendation for an antibiotic to combat the infection.  I spent the entire day on the couch with my foot propped up and a heating pad wrapped around it.  Sunday came around and it was another entire day spent on the couch and the feelings of frustration, worry, and anxiety started flooding in.  I knew that the amount of pain, the intense swelling, and redness were not good signs at all and I also know enough to know that an infection in an extremity could lead to undesirable results.  And I was frustrated to be set back in my recovery after spending the last two weeks feeling really good, walking better, and optimistic about getting back to normalcy.  By the time Sunday night came around, I couldn't sleep.  Satan was attacking me left and right with all the "what ifs?", and worry and fear and frustration.  I kept telling him to get away from me, far away from me, and finally fell asleep listening to worship music around 2 am.  Also, getting comfortable was also an issue.  Monday morning arrives and I promptly called the center and anxiously waited for a call back.  Amie stopped by and tears flowed as frustration poured out.  My foot has swelled up so much that my incision had split open again and was bleeding and draining.  (Turns out that would be a good thing.)  I spent all morning waiting for a call back only to find out that they don't even come into the office till 12:30 pm.  I would say that the pain level was down a bit by Monday but I still wanted, oh so badly, to see the doctor, have him examine it and tell me that it would be okay.  He couldn't see me in time Monday (which created more anxiety as I'd have to wait one more night) so I would go see him Tuesday morning.  I was both relieved and anxious to have the appointment.  It was taking the antibiotics a bit to kick in and start battling against the infection.  My parents came and picked me up and I spent the night there so that I'd be closer the next morning.  It's hard for me to let others take care of me and maybe even more so to let my parents do so.  I've been on my own for a while now and I'm getting used to helping them out, taking care of them.  Anyways, I go to the Anderson clinic the next morning and Dr. Herbst checks it out.  Thankfully, it was caught early and treated with antibiotics right away before it became an abscess.  While an infection rarely happens in someone as young and healthy as I am, it does happen randomly and it's just a speed bump on the road to recovery.  It's put me back about a week but I should recover fully.  It's hard after feeling so good for a week to then get beat back down, discouraged, and frustrated.  I just want to feel better now and it's so hard to be patient.  It still hurts, I'm still taking lots of pills, and it's still a bit swollen and red.  I've wondered a few times if the initial surgery was worth it and I tell myself yes....because the surgery was supposed to replicate the results of the first shot and if it does that, I'll be elated.  Trying to stay off of it, keeping up on taking all the pills, and being patient-that's the key to recovery.  With the warmer weather, the "itch" to be out and about is great and it's depressing to be on the sidelines.  At first, I asked God the reason why and now I'm asking what am I supposed to learn.

If you could....Pray for continued healing.  Pray for patience.  Pray for a full recovery.  Thanks.