Live in the NOW!

Last week, Amie and I got the opportunity to go to the Southern Similar Ministry Conference.  Long name but what it's about is a group of therapeutic riding centers with a Christian emphasis getting together to talk about leadership.  Last Thursday we headed down to Leeds, AL and spent two nights down there with a group of great Christians.  Most of the groups were from Alabama and then there was us and Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a fantastic place in Oregon.  It was a good time.  Not everything applied to us but a lot did and it was some good stuff to take back home and apply to both our full time and summer staff.  And it was nice to be around like-minded, like-focused folks.  There was a session on mindfulness that was deep and quite applicable.  Just prior to the session, I had read an email I had gotten that upset me a bit.  Not sad insomuch as upset about the lack of respect shown during it and that it was a slap in the face, a kick while I was down.  So I went into the session with less focus and more on my mind.  Bryan Tweed was giving the talk and he wanted us to think only on the now.  Not on the past because it's done, move on.  And not on the future, because, well, it's the future.  But think about the now, about right now.  I went in worried about what was going to happen due to the email I had gotten.  One that could prove to change so much and affect my attitude greatly.  But I was worried about what it was going to do.  The situation wasn't going to affect me right now, it was going to affect me within the week.  The horse isn't worried about the future.  He isn't thinking about what the

owner/rider/human was going to do to him tomorrow or in 5 minutes.  He was only worried about what the owner was going to do to him right now.  We were asked to observe the horse as he freely walked about the arena and then just think about whatever thoughts came to our head.  Some thought of his curiousity, his fun nature as he rolled, the way he walked, did he move freely.  As Bryan asked the horse to move, I thought of how the horse wasn't worried about Bryan "might" do to him, only that he was asking him to move on right NOW.  And that applied so much to my situation.  I needed to get that situation/problem out of my head and just enjoy and think about what was going on right now.  I'd like to say that I started to think about the now and less about the future right then and there but I didn't.  I definitely worried about it for a few days and then took steps to prepare for it.  While all I wanted to do was tell this person that what they did hurt and that what they did made me continue to feel small and belittled, I didn't due to the person involved but I also wasn't willing to go down totally silently.  (And a recent blog post from a Mr. Mongoose Krafty came to mind in which he had to deal with a superior not treating him well and that helped me think through my situation....so thank you!)  Now, through a crazy series of events and conversations, what I had dreaded coming actually ended up working in my favor.  I had an unlikely ally come to my "defense" and while I spent a lot of time working on making the situation okay for myself, it turned out I didn't need to do any of that anyways.  Even if it hadn't turned out my way, I still was prepared to stand my thoughts and feelings but prepared to also take the situation and be okay with it.  What a great reminder of not fretting and freaking out when we first receive news.  And a great reminder to not worry about the future and to think about and enjoy the NOW.  God's already on the other side, looking back at us, saying, "Come on.  I'm already here.  You don't need to worry."

Casting Crowns "Already There"

Starting off 2014 Right!

I feel like my 2014 has gotten off to a good, albeit slow start.  The "Polar Vortex" kept us cooped up and unwilling to do much of anything.  That usually happens when you're freezing in a house with no power and wind chills are deep in the negatives.  We obviously survived and found ourselves immensely grateful to have a house with even a modicum of heat (my lowest was 50), grateful for neighbors who let us crash at their place for the day, and grateful to have enough clothes to pile on.  I found my ski goggles and found them to be a huge help in keeping the face protected.  I dare say, my face was warm under all of that.  Fingers and toes, fingers and toes....that's what gets cold.

 So I felt like my 2014 began AFTER the polar vortex tore through the area.  It was actually kind of nice to start after the "rush" of the new year.  Things I'm going to do this year include the 52 week money challenge and getting out of debt, well, at least a lot out of debt.  With my truck payments ending soon, this is the year it can happen.  I need to make it happen.

T25 is happening.  To spice up my running and include some cross training, I started T25.  I have done P90X in the past but the 25 intense minutes that comes with Shaun T's workouts keeps it going and soon, you're done!  Sore and tired but done.  I like how a lot of what he focuses on and stretches are the same muscle groups and actions we use when we ride.

Riding-Anthony and I are going places this year.  Possibly to Florida this winter to ride with Nancy for a week and even some shows.  He's a good guy.  Weird, lacking in trust (but chose me?), but so crazy athletic and smooth.

And work....so far, getting lots of projects done after it became tolerable to be outside.  :-)

Getting things done.  Going places.  :-)







Video of the "tundra" of Camp Tecumseh:

Tied or Untied??

Something you may or may not know about me and now you know the reason why.....

Haha, those of you who have spent any time around me may, at some point, realize something.  I rarely, ever, tie my shoes.  Not in the unsafe manner where my shoe laces are dragging the ground...I don't want to ruin my shoes!  :-)  I never trip and rarely lose my shoes.  I haven't always kept my shoes untied but now it's an unconscious act.  It's so much easier to slip your shoes on and off if they aren't tied.  I won't step on the heel of my other shoe to take it off and bending over and tying them and then having to retie them minutes later.  With my job, I will not wear my shoes inside the house.  Even if the bottoms of the shoes look okay, knowing what I've been in that day compels me to drop my shoes at the door wherever I go.  If I'm going to be running or walking a day of trail rides, I will tie them....usually.  I don't think it's a big deal.  However, I sat next to someone the other day who remarked to me, "Hey, your shoes aren't tied!" to which I responded, "No, they aren't" and didn't do anything about it.  I got the strangest look.  "You don't tie your shoes.....??"  "Nope."  (Insert ensuing discussion as to why I don't.)  I don't think they'll ever tell me again that my shoes are untied....I think I blew their mind without trying to.  :-)  There you have it.

Looks good...until you dig a little

So I've read a few interesting articles this week that have really got me thinking a bit.  An article was posted earlier this week by someone on my FB page that, on the surface, sounds great.  Who can argue with it?  But, in my opinion, if you dig at it a little, it falls apart due only to the foundation on which it's built.  This is one of the articles here if you want to read it.....Chivalry is Out of Style....like I said, sounds good.  And really, it is good.  As a woman, I truly appreciate a guy who, for example, waits a few extra seconds at the door if they see someone else coming and holds it open for them.  Anyone can appreciate a person who'll give up their seat to their elder or one who truly needs the opportunity to sit down...it's showing respect.  It's a rare sight to find a guy who'll stand until a woman is seated and it's cool to still see that from time to time.  I feel that there is respect within that act, whether it's toward a woman or an elderly man.  It feels good when a guy shows respect in that way.  I hope that it is respect, and only respect, that propels those acts.  If those acts have another idea or foundation behind them, I think the waters get a little murky.  I am not offended when a man does things for me and offers to help out or opens the door for me.  The question that got brought up in my mind due to the articles was, "Are you opening the door because you are a decent human being who respects others and has common courtesy OR are you doing it to show that I am stronger than you and here's a way to show it?"  Obviously, the first reason makes perfect sense and is a great reason to open the door for someone else.  The second....well, there might be a slippery slope in that way of thinking.  Here are a few points within the article and from there you can draw you own conclusions. First point:

"The meaning of “chivalry” has evolved, but its roots can be found in the oath that Crusader knights were made to take as part of their consecration, or “dubbing”. A knight swore “to defend to his uttermost the weak, the orphan, the widow and the oppressed; he should be courteous, and women should receive his especial care”."  

I completely understand that anyone, regardless of their gender, should come to the aid of those who need help.  What could be dangerous is that women are lumped into the same category as the weak a little later on in the article.

"Chivalry calls for the strongest to serve and honor the weakest, realizing that the other option is for the strongest to dominate and abuse the weakest. Chivalry is one of the things that separates us from gorillas and wolves and rats. We, as chivalrous men, are called to use our strength in service to women, children, the infirm, and the elderly."

I understand that physically, men are, more often than not, stronger than women.  I'm not blind to the physical boundaries (and other differences) between men and women.  It's how we were designed.  But does it really make someone weak simply because they aren't physically as strong as you are? There are very strong people who are very much physically weak but I see them as strong as anyone else.  I realize that the author says that the idea is NOT for the strong to dominate the weak within that act of chivalry but I for one do not want to be referred to as weak and it's so easy to go down the road where physical strength leads to superiority; superiority leads to dominance; dominance means power.  I see relationships where the woman acts or truly is weak and doesn't do things for themselves or asks the man to do everything. Within the comments one woman writes that if her "fiancee neglected to open the door for her, she would stand staring at the door until he realized his mistake."  Wow, dude, you need to run now because she is not someone to stay with.  Feeling entitled is a dangerous path to travel down and a very unhappy one.  We live in an entitled world where we "deserve to have that door opened for us."  But that's not how we should live because we don't live for ourselves.  Maybe she really is that weak or maybe it's easier to ask someone else to do it for you.  I can't answer that question for anyone. I've seen really really cool awesome guy burdened down with a wife who can't seem to do anything for herself and I see the drain it takes on them.  I'm strong and I've been on my own for a while, no man to help me with everyday life so life has made me be quite capable and independent.  But I'd love to be in a relationship where we work together, using our various strengths in harmony, being better together than apart.  I know the limits of my physical strength and I have no issues asking a man to help me out or taking their assistance when they ask if they can help.  Folks will tell me that women are to subject themselves to the authority of a man however that seems to only be within the confines of marriage and I'm not married.  The Bible does not tell me that I am weak.  The Bible does not tell me that I am helpless.  (I can hear you out there and I'll answer you right now....I am weak, definitely, that's why I need Christ. And I am helpless.... to enter heaven without His grace.  Please realize I'm talking about another kind of weak and helpless.) I've been told by those within the church that since men want to feel special that you should allow them to do things for you, things you are capable of doing all by yourself and you should pretend you can't (really, I was told that!).  While I understand letting guys do something for you to some degree (see below), I also don't think I should fake or lie just to make someone feel better while denying who and what I am.  I have stepped aside and let the men help us with a job and let them have fun and show off to one another.  They have fun and we usually get a few laughs out of it.  No harm done.

This is not a bash against men at all but against the reasons presented in the article and comments.  Men are awesome, cool, and they balance us out just how God designed and goodness knows I love having them around!  There are a lot of great men in my life through family and camp and if I've ever been in trouble or need back up to get unwanted guests out of the way, I'm grateful that they come to my aid.  Is it because I was weak?  Not necessarily, I just needed help; maybe I was weak at that moment. And that's the point.  We are all weak at some point while others are strong and can lift us up.  We do need each other.  We all need help sometimes. Common courtesy, putting others second, respect for our fellow man, showing love as Christ has commanded.....this should be our foundation for our acts of love and service to all of mankind-men, women, children, elderly, sick, and even the strong....everyone needs to feel the love of Christ through our acts of service.  The weakest of all of us can serve the strongest through their love and service.

The second article I was referring to is here:  Relationship not leadership and it's mostly the last paragraph that connected the two articles for me.  It's actually about horses.  :-)