Don't Be a Cougar!

Since I began working at camp, I have learned a lot about behavior, both human and horse.  Why not?  I'm constantly around both of those groups every day and they are always changing (at least the humans are always changing!) so I can observe and study both groups.  It's actually a fascinating subject and here are some thoughts.  

Horses are magnificent animals.  They reflect our emotions and are a mirror to our own soul.  If we are feeling frustrated, nervous, scared, or distracted, they will reflect.  On the flip side, if we are calm, confident, and at peace, the horse will be a relaxed confident mount.  We may not even know exactly what we are feeling or dealing with on the inside and a horse will bring it to the surface.    A horse can also sense what may be “different” about a rider and can take compassion on them, take them into their “herd”, and take care of them.

Horses cannot lie.  They cannot hide their emotions, hide their feelings, or deceive us.  Humans, on the other hand, are constantly suppressing our true feelings, lying with our words and actions.  While our words may lie, our body language usually does not.  It is difficult to fake one’s body language yet it appears to be something that we rarely clue into.  Horses communicate only through their body language whether it’s in their stance, their ears, or their body position, they tell us exactly how they feel.  Often times, humans in our predatory ways ignore body language in both animals and others around us.  We have often seen a young child excitedly run up to an animal only to have that animal run away.  Once that animal runs away, we often see that child chase it to try to catch it.  They don’t understand that the animal is running away due to fear and that chasing a scared animal will, more than likely, not involve them catching it.  We don’t recognize the subtle clues that both animals and our fellow man tell us.  What would happen to communication if we were to clue into the non-verbal side?  What would happen to our relationships?  Think about how much more observant, connected, and intuitive we would become.

Horses are followers by their nature. Every herd needs and has a leader, usually a boss mare, and the herd will follow their leader without hesitation. This is key to their survival.  A good leader is fair and consistent.  The leader is not aggressive, mean, or overly dominant but assertive.  They need to trust and respect their leader.  Horses naturally will follow as they don't naturally desire to be in the lead but in the absence of a good leader, will take over that position themselves.   As we work with a horse, we need to assume the role of the leader in the relationship.  If we can prove ourselves to be a fair and competent leader without dominating and causing fear in the horse, we can build a relationship based on trust and respect.  What is amazing is how we can change our ways from predator (ex. getting a horse to move away from you) to prey (ex. softening our body position and "asking" the horse to come to us) and the horse, who lives in the here and now, will respond to you based only on the body language you now present.  While a minute ago you were telling that horse to "go away" (aggressive body language), you can now soften your stance and position and ask him to "come to you" and he will.  They don't hold onto the past.....why do we?    (I've titled this post after a saying that Amie and I have around the kids, "Don't be a cougar" = "Don't act like a predator, act like a partner.")

Likewise, as humans, often times we want to have a strong confident, yet not dominating, leader that we can follow.  Thankfully, we can have a “boss horse” in our relationship as well.  God can be our leader.  He is fair and just, yet demands respect.  Just as the horse who follows their competant and confident leader, we need to follow our Leader.  We can have faith that our Leader will never fail, will always have our best interests at heart, and is completely trustworthy.  It is complete and udder freedom to have that relationship.  It's not a prison, confined by rules and "Do nots" but a liberating experience.  That may seem like a contradiction to have "rules" and "freedom" at the same time....but it's not.  A horse that trusts it's boss mare/leader can be confident that someone is watching out for the herd, trust that they only have their best interests at heart, keeps them steered away from danger, and will take care of their needs.  It's safe.  Likewise, we have freedom as well.  Not freedom to do whatever we want, but freedom to do as we ought to.

In closing, I challenge you to observe those around you, listen a little less to the words and a little more to the body language, and be clued in to your own language.  Then take a look at your relationship with your "Boss Horse" and experience the freedom that comes with it.