Be in the Now

What does it mean to be "content"?  Recently I posted a status on how the fertility rate of women over 30 starts to drop dramatically.  I had a lot of responses, much to my surprise, as I wasn't expecting much.  Too clarify the situation, I am not "not content" with my current situation.  But that doesn't mean that I still can't have dreams.  Ever since I was in school, I envisioned my future with a husband and kids.  I did not have career aspirations.  I wanted to be a mom.  Obviously, there were steps that had to be taken in order to even get to that point.  Meet guy, date guy, love guy enough to marry him, and have kids at least 9 months after wedding. :-)  I have yet to make step 1.  Hahaha

It might seem like I'm digressing from the point of my post, being content, but stay with me and maybe you'll see where I'm going.  I went to college to get a degree and even though I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I knew I wanted to love what I was doing.  I started off in physical therapy but switched to animal science after a year.  (Little did I know that all my years of "What do I want to do with my life?" would take me to the best job ever!)  Think back to when you were in college.  Did you ever spend a lot of time thinking about the future and biding your time before life would finally begin?  Life didn't start until you had a degree and a job and a house and a family?  Were you constantly thinking, "Once I'm out of college, I'll......"?  I'll serve God once I'm out.  I thought some of those things.  I told myself that I'll have more time once I'm out of college, that I couldn't wait to find a guy and get married and "get started" on life.  But I had a light bulb moment about halfway through college.  Why are we waiting for life to begin??  Life is NOW.  Life is happening right now.  Why are we wishing for the future and wasting the time that we have been given now?  Is this what it means to be content?  To be content where we are right now, not wishing for a future time, not the absence of dreams, but the willingness to take what we've been given now and use it.  Don't live for tomorrow because then you'll miss out on today, the present.  And you're never guaranteed tomorrow.

I still want to be married and have kids.  I love being single and being free to do what I want, when I want, and not worry about who I left at home.  I can be a great help and support to my friends and co-workers and I can give all to my work, my ministry.  I appreciate each year I have been single and if God's plan is for me to be single, He will help it to be okay.  But while I have been a support to others and am surrounded by good people all day long, I do go home and there isn't someone there to give me a hug, ask me how my day went, and someone I can tell my stories from the day to.  If I didn't have the great family I do at camp, folks I'm around daily, I'm sure that the longing would be strong.  As it is, that longing is just one that happens every once in while, usually as the holidays and cold weather approaches.  I just want my dream (of kids) to still be a possibility if God decides that's His plan to have me marry.  But God has surrounded me with great folks and I am truly content where I am right now.  Truly content and happy.

"For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."