Why?

Frustrated.  Mad.  Upset.  That's been my feelings the last two days.  My recovery from foot surgery seemed to be going along swimmingly.  I was feeling pretty good, even able to lose the boot for a few hours at a time.  Well, not so much anymore.  Just when my foot was feeling better, I was feeling better overall, it decided to kick me back down again.  Friday morning I woke up and it hurt a lot more than it had but a few painkillers and I was able to tackle the day again.  By Friday night though, it was another story.  I took a few of the stronger painkillers, iced it, and tried to sleep.  It hurt so much I called my dad, who was in bed, for advice.  By 5 o'clock in the morning, the pain had woke me back up and I took some more stuff for the pain.  Which turned out to not be the best idea, to take it without food, and I regretted the decision later.  I called the surgery center and had my doc paged (lucky for me, he was on call).  He suggested I rest it and keep checking for redness and swelling.  My parents showed up a few hours later and by then, my foot was very swollen and red.  Infection.  :-(  I couldn't even stand to put weight on my heel anymore and crutches are the only way I can get around.  I've kept heat on it, been taking antibiotics, and have spent the entire weekend on the couch.  My foot is so tight that when I stand up, the blood rushes down and it feels like my skin could tear under the pressure.  Not exaggerating.  I'm mad.  Mad at the sudden loss of ability to get around.  Frustrated to have my recovery derailed.  And upset because, well, this sucks.  I'm supposed to call into the clinic tomorrow and see what they want.  If they want me to come in, I'm 2 hours away and unable to drive.  That means finding a friend here or asking my parents to drive 2 hours here, then 2 hours back.  And I'm afraid because worst case scenarios always come to mind.  One of the perks of having a doctor in the family.  So, if you're reading this, say a prayer.  I'd appreciate it.  My foot would appreciate it.

I'm reminded to praise Him when it's going well and praise Him when it's not.  Lord, I certainly have no idea what you're doing here, but I'm going to trust in it and since I don't feel like trusting, I know that the trust comes from You too.