Week 5 Survived! Barely.

After the heat wave of week 4, week 5 was supposed to be a walk in the park.  First off, after surviving the heat wave, everyone shut down a bit.  Tired, sick, and just plain wiped out.  You push so hard to make it through the hot times that when there is a small respite, your body shuts down.  The theme for the week was safari week and the counselors really got into it.  It makes things a little more fun and spices up the same old routine.  This was the first week for equestrian day camp (11 campers), a full horsemanship of 62 campers, and I had 36 campers at EQ camp.  A very full camp.  I had a class of 5 campers continuing my trend of teaching a class a week.  Thankfully, Monday was the first day I wore my contacts and I was so happy about that.  It's going to be a good week, right.....?

I had a camper who proved to probably be my toughest student...ever.  I know she knew how to ride.  But when she got on our horses, it all seemed to go out the window and she was nervous, tight, unable to relax her seat and thighs, and leaned forward badly (her instructor at home told her she leaned too far forward....haha).  At first she rode Keeghan and the first lesson went badly.  I thought maybe if she had a chance to get a day under her belt she might relax and just go with the flow so I didn't change her off Keeghan (who hates it when people are tight on him) and I didn't have a bunch of wiggle room with horses either.  For Tuesday's lesson, I brought in an assistant to help me with her so that I could keep the other 4 campers going forward in their lessons.  We were going to play a game called "Pac-man" that I had just made up and was the inagural playing of it.  This camper came around the corner and Keeghan started cantering (leaning forward and being tight on him makes him want to canter) and she fell forward onto his neck and that only spurred him on to go faster.  At this point, there really isn't much I can do because I know when he stops, she's gone.  He ran quite quickly from one end of the arena to the other and, much to my prediction, when he slammed on the brakes, she flew off the side. Thankfully she picked herself up off the ground before I even got to her.  I had her sit with Erin while we continued the lesson and I decided that the schedule must be rearranged for her to get another, more flexible horse that she could figure out her body position without him getting fussy.  All throughout the rest of the week, she rode Cramer, a normally western horse but pretty easy going.  Interestingly enough, she seemed to take on the trait of whatever horse she rode.  On Keeghan, she was tight.  On Cramer, she was wiggly.  But with the help of Erin and lots of coaching and "re-dos", we got her more comfortable and I think she started to understand how much her seat and body position were telling the horse and how much they like the relaxed seat and thighs.  The others in my class were a hoot.  Izzy on Luke (she's very talented but still young....lots of potential), Ellie on Blue (he made her work SO hard riding every stride of every day, no break but she never gave up), Elena on Pholly (quiet and strong), and hilarious Victoria on Junior (she always made me laugh) were a bright spot in an otherwise dark week (more on that later).  We played Ultimate Trail Ride with both a creek (overturned cavaletti) and a river (upright cavaletti) and they loved the course, Angry Birds with breeds, Cowboys vs Indians, and, of course, a little jumping in the cross country field and their week had been made.  The other campers were fun but a little challenging.  Hard to motivate to clean the barn and to get their horses tacked up.  I had one young man, Brenton, who had fallen off last year on a trail ride with horsemanship and came up to us in equestrian camp to give it another shot.  I put him on a steady reliable horse (Dude) and even got him to come on our trail ride.  Turns out that Brenton would receive our Character Counts award.  Mostly for his good work ethic around the barn and positive attitude, but also, in my mind, for courage and perseverance.  Good good kid!















Events outside the barn tried to overshadow the things happening inside the barn.  Monday afternoon clinics went well with  me able to get some chores done during them like scrubbing grooming tools, water troughs, and getting the feeders ready for round bales.  Monday evening was spent helping drive Haddie in a different cart (didn't fit), giving Reagan "riding lessons" on Flicka, and putting out round bales.  That evening we listened to Sara's speech on bull riding and then we were off to bed.  Trail rides this week were a little late getting out the door, mostly due to the campers lack of motivation.  Tuesday afternoon were clinics again and I helped with driving since we had three teams of ponies (no Haddie).  That evening, after dinner, Sara and I went to Walmart to buy lots of yummy presents for our counselors and staff to give them a reminder of how much we appreciate them.  I spent way too much money there.  I stayed up until 2 am putting together their care packages and instantly regretted the decision once 6 am rolled around.  Up and at 'em for the trail ride and we get back to the barn safe and sound.  For reasons that I cannot ever discuss, that's a day I won't ever forget.  I received some news that morning that broke my heart into tiny little pieces.  No, no one was sick or dying but still very serious just the same.  I received this news and heard the accusations just after getting back from the trail ride and I tried my very best to hold it all together at least until lunch.  I comforted my friends as best I could and was still numb from the shock of it all.  I was distracted, horribly distracted and unfocused but I kept it together for my class and numbly did the chores.  I was in shock, not even showing emotion yet, but just a state of shock.  Thankfully, after lunch, I got to go with Sara and go to the chiropractor.  She knew what had happened so we could talk about it.  After that, it was a long evening of helping out, being a friend, and loving on my family as much as possible.  Thursday's ride went as usual and while I was still in another world, one that didn't involve camp per say, I was still able to give my campers the best I could.  I spent the afternoon continuing projects from the night before and that night, we got the chance to go to Kathy's for a night of relaxation away from camp.  A little bit of alcohol ;-) and some venting and lots of tears later, it was almost midnight.  In the two days prior, I had had 4 hours of sleep one night then 4 1/2 hours of sleep the next.  Even though I went to bed at 1 am on Friday, I still got almost that amount of sleep in that one night (7 hours).

How I'm feeling?  Hurt, betrayed, confused, and suspicious.  A broken heart takes time to heal and although trust is much harder to restore, time will help.  I was struck and brought to tears (again....happening a lot these days) by the song "Forgiveness" by Matthew West.  Forgiveness  It's not something I can give away at this point but in time, God will help me to do so.  It feels impossible right now but as the song says "Show me how..." and He will.  To become bitter is to take the poison yourself that you intend the other person to take.  The sting of the pain so real and vivid must subside a bit before it can happen.  I am a friend, a loyal friend, and I will stick by through thick and thin....no matter what.  What happened hurt all of us but it will not destroy anything.  Thankful for family and true friends.    Week 5 was merely survived and thankful for a new week with new kids and a new start.  Time will only tell about the repercussions of the events of the week but the truth will shine through and God will make all right.