A Record of Life and Thoughts
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Looking for Real
As I sat in a women's Bible study this past Thursday, I started thinking about how awkward it seemed to be. The leader asking questions, hardly anyone responding or the same people responding, some sharing and some not. This wouldn't be my first choice for a study, but it's a video series by Joyce Meyer and the topic is on the Promises of God. I had been invited by a friend who has since moved away. It's a study during the week which makes it more convenient for me. I used to go to an awesome church. I grew so much, learned so much, and developed a love of serving. Unfortunately, some events occurred and I no longer go there and there are still . I wish I could go back. I wish it could all be the same again. I know that church is no longer the same and neither am I. And it would be too uncomfortable to go back, some feelings hurt too much to go back. But maybe in a way, it's good to not go back. I'm not the same. While I learned a lot and grew so much, I also realize now how judgmental I could be. Whether it was because of someone who didn't go to church on Sunday morning or maybe didn't "look" like a Christian, I'm sure I judged them before I'd even met them and gotten to know their story. I think it was awesome for me to come to camp and to broaden my view, my scope, to not put Christianity in a box. I took what I learned at church and really applied it. Loving on the kids, discussing questions as deep as, "What will happen if I don't believe in God?" and "Is there absolute truth?", and showing the love of Christ everywhere I could. So if sometimes things (friends, situations, etc) are only for a season and for a reason, then I believe that the church I was involved with prepared me for the next phase of life.
While this doesn't mean that you don't need to be growing and learning and be involved in a church, I have found it extremely hard to find another church. First off, I work every Sunday so that's one difficulty. Also, it's hard to find one that teaches good solid scripture and doesn't gloss over the "hard" stuff. Not that I'm looking for doom and gloom, but I want a challenge. And I also want real. I don't want it to be full of fake, full of awkward, but with people who are the same every single day. Not pious on Sunday and selfish and lacking love Monday through Saturday. One where folks are sincere, genuine, not putting on an act, and you feel as though they care. Obviously, no church is perfect. No person is perfect. Nothing will be perfect until He comes back again. I know that there are real folks out there. I work with a lot of them. :-)
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I, too, have done my share of sitting in awkward Bible studies and missing good churches of the past. It's definitely a hard road to walk! I don't know if Ben already told you or not, but we have started attending a church that has Sunday night services (because of the same "working Sunday mornings" conflict) and really like it. You are welcome to come check it out with us any time!
ReplyDeleteWhere do you go?? I'm usually dead tired by Sunday night but I'd be willing to give it a go sometime.
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