I do apologize for the lack of posts. I've had lots in my head, but the words haven't been flowing as of late so writing is difficult and my best posts are when the words flow, kind of like how Ghost Creek/River has been flowing lately. ;-) This post wasn't flowing.....Bear with me.
Ever have any of those times where you want to be left in a mood? Not necessarily a bad mood, just a grrrr..... mood. I know I'm in that mood when, I confess, I don't want to listen to my normal music. I turn off the Christian radio station and find something that might fit my feelings a little more. Not saying that the other music is bad (it's not at all) or that what I'm doing is wrong but I know that when I start to do that, my head may not be where it should. I wanna be left alone to do whatever I want to do, frustrated because things aren't working out like they should, but still realizing that things are okay and not all that dramatic. Things are not falling apart over here, although I think some people around me are falling apart. Between the weather derailing plans at every turn and our mini-farm helper out indefinitely, things are starting to pile up a bit, but not too much yet. Add to that, my best friend's been sick and in pain and when someone I care about hurts, I hurt too. My "curse" is that I either care 100% or not at all. I can't always find that middle ground very well. And when someone I care about hurts, I tend to pour that onto myself and then when there's nothing I can do to help relieve the suffering and pain that they may be experiencing, physically or emotionally, then I have feelings of helplessness. I know it's not helpless, but I want to take on their burden, to help them as much as possible. That's the time to turn it over to God. Although, one should always turn it over right away to God but there's something to be said to those who wait around doing nothing while waiting for God to do it. Anyways, in all these circumstances, there's nothing to be done because all of it is out of my control. Therefore, there is no panic, no frustration, but that doesn't mean there can't be a "mood"! :-) And I like to be the "hero/warrior", taking on everything and everyone and being strong for all those around me. It's something I put on myself and I don't necessarily have to but I want to.
The "funny" thing is that there are so many things that have happened that are trying to pull me out of my mood and while I haven't been pulled out completely, things are fine. They really are. I think I'm just ready for sunshine and warm temperatures!
God's Moments:
A random guy at the south side Rural King (and he's from Delphi) asks me if he could donate 600 bales of hay to camp. Um, yeah! Do you know how much we have left? (Next to nothing)
Some things we've been trying to sell for camp look like they are going to sell quickly.
Lining up staff and workers....check.
So even though there are rainy days and days where things flood over the road instead of through the culvert and days that you just don't want the sun to come out because you want any excuse to go home and curl up on the couch with a cold drink and good movie, just remember that there will be a sunset, possibly a full moon out while you're out running at 9 pm, and then a good sleep which will remedy all. Good night all. ;-)
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