Where Were You?

Where were you 10 years ago?  The day your world stopped turning?  

I remember that day and the days that follow with clarity.  So vividly do I recall the events of 9/11 that I still choke up, my eyes fill with tears, and I feel those emotions all over again when I see the pictures, hear the stories, or see the video.  It is a day that will forever live in me.  I see 9:11 on the clock and think of that day; I see $9.11 and it hits me.  That date is forever in my mind.  It's also a day I don't want to forget, to push aside, or erase from my memory.  I came from a family that valued patriotism and a love of country and a desire to see her continue as the home of the free and the home of the brave and I pray that God continues to bless America.  Do I think I live in the best country?  Yes.

It was a Tuesday morning and I had been up early to work breakfast at Shreve Hall.  My shift ended and I had gone out for a quick run before hitting the showers.  I only had two classes that day-American Indian History at 12:30 and Animal Science Senior Seminar at 4:30 (like I said, that day remains in clarity because I can't remember anything else of my schedule during my years at Purdue).  After my shower, I did something I don't normally do....I turned on the TV to make noise in the room while I got ready for the rest of my day.  CNN was on and images of a burning World Trade Center were on.  The ticker at the bottom read of "Plane hitting WTC" but few other details.  I checked a few other channels to find that it was on every single channel we had.  This was big stuff.  As I sat and watched footage, I began to realize that my country, the country I loved, was under attack.  I watched the news until I had to leave for my class only to get there and see that class had been cancelled.  I went back to my dorm and continued to watch TV.  Folks in the hallway were all talking about it.  "Have you heard?"  "Can you believe it?"  "I don't understand."  "Do you know anyone?"  Having lived in a country, isolated from any combat on our own soil since the Civil War, that was now being attacked, and in the most coward of ways, I had never felt vulnerable.  Now I did.  And I did not like the feeling.  I went to my second class and, of course, they were all abuzz with the news.  I don't remember how much lecturing went on but I know we did try to get down to business.  Wednesday's classes went on but with a more somber feel to them and with a somber mood all over campus.  A candlelight vigil at Slayter Hill brought hundreds if not thousands.  I remember hearing a plane go overhead during that vigil and everything and everyone stopped and looked up. Fear were in some eyes.  Hearts beat a little faster I'm sure until that noise went away.
Everything in America had seemed to stop.  Stock market, sports games, flights, etc.....silenced for now.  What do you do?  What do you say?  How do you not hate those around you who might believe in the same book the terrorists did?  I certainly did not hate, but I did not trust.  Nor do I still in some ways....but that's for another time.  Friday I gave blood.  Just a little something I could do.  Wore a flag on my backpack (that remained there throughout the rest of my years) and gave money to the Red Cross.  Went to a memorial service at the Elliott Hall of Music with all of campus as classes were suspended so that all could go.  That Friday night was my first contact with the folks from my Bible Study/church.  While I had been in shock most of that week, I was an emotional wreck when I saw my friends.  Fear came out.  Fear that my brother, who's unit had been activated, was off to fight a cowardly enemy, one who had no rules, no boundaries.  Mostly my faith in the safety and security of my country had been shaken and it showed me that there was truly only one thing in heaven or earth that could be completely trustworthy and faithful....my God and Savior Jesus Christ. People asked me, "Where was your God on 9/11?"  I said, "He was right in the middle of it.  Giving our firefighters and first responders the courage to go into a burning building, He was with co-workers working to save another's life, and giving those involved a peace and calm in the midst of the most troubling of circumstances."  God created us and He also created courage, bravery, and heart.  All things that were seen that day.  So that's where my God was.  And He still is here, with every service man and woman fighting justly to preserve our way of life.  Giving up their freedoms and comforts so that we could be free.  I pray that we don't forget the events or try to erase them from our minds.  Let us never be complacent about our past.  Our past can make us stronger.  The farther away from an event we get, the more likely it gets watered down in our minds.  May this never happen to you.  It won't happen to me. I have moved on in my life since that day 10 years ago.  I don't live in fear anymore, but rather living in freedom both of this world and out of this world.

To the true heroes of this world....firefighters, policemen, our military....willing to give of themselves, to sacrifice and pay the highest price for someone they have never met, to give up their freedoms so that we could have ours....I salute you and give you my solemn promise that I will never forget what happened, what you are fighting for, and I will always honor and respect you no matter the task you have been asked to undertake.

9/11/2001  

Never Forget....The Home of the Free only as long it remains the Home of the Brave

Respect the World Around You

Misconceptions about horses and animals in general that I see day in and day out in my job:

Despite what Hollywood portrays, horses go not go faster simply because you flip the reins up and down.  Think about what the reins are attached to...a metal bit in their mouth.  Would you go faster if someone put a spoon in your mouth then flipped it up and down so that it hit the roof of your mouth?  Well, you might because you're now mad and in pain!  Think about your actions and the effect they can have on the animal.  The bit in the horses mouth is to control where you go and how fast you get there.  Use it wisely and only as needed, otherwise the horse will become dull to your aids or will resent the hands on the other end of those reins.

Animals are not vindictive, they don't go around thinking, "How can I get them today?", and don't plan out anything.  They don't try to knock you off going under a branch or "take out your knee" by getting too close to the fence post.  They don't understand where you are in space relative to them.  Much the same way that if you were to put a toddler on your back and then start to go through a doorway, you have to stop, think about how tall you now are, then compensate.  Animals don't think that way.  If they fit, they go through.  If their belly doesn't rub on the fence post, then they think they fit.  Or if you stick your hand out and get bit, it's not the animal's fault.  You reached out to them, they are used to people feeding them, so use some sense and don't stick your fingers in their mouths.  Please don't say that my horses are "out to get you."  It's up to you to be the logical one in the relationship

But I digress from the subject of this post which is......respect

How would you like it if you were penned up and others came by and tried to scare you, made fun of you, or taunted you?  How respectful is it to the animals that God has given to us, entrusted to us, if we lord our supposed "superiority" over them?  We were not meant to trample over the creation that God gave us, but rather use it to our benefit, be a good steward of it, and be respectful and thankful for it.  I'm all for eating meat and using the products that animals can give us, but I also take care of the animals I have been entrusted with, I don't tease, scare, or mock them, and I respect them.  Probably the animals have no idea that they are being mocked or teased, but if we have that attitude with them, we probably have it with others around us and they will know when they are being put down.  To those that we think we are better than.  We take our superior attitude and are cocky, arrogant, and demeaning.  It's fun to have animals around and they certainly provide a laugh now and again and it's quite alright to laugh at them.  But respect them just like you would all of God's creation.  Hopefully you respect the earth and it's resources and more importantly, you respect those around you and the God who created it all.  He gave us a beautiful gift called Creation.  I wish I could have seen the original, unblemished Creation because the sin-tarnished one we have now is pretty incredible.  So my parting words will be part of the creed of the Sagamore Council which every Tecumseh camper will hear during Friday night devotions: "I will respect the world around me- the plants, the wild things, the people and their ideas; and each day will bring new adventures."

Week 9 at Last

Here we sit, at the end of the circus.  11 weeks ago, 7 counselors and 3 barn assistant entered the fellowship room not knowing what adventure they were going to be embarking on.  Fresh faced, wondering eyes, and with no tans would soon be transformed into the tanned, tired faces of professional counselors.  What a summer we've had together.  We swept numerous strokes with the broom, groomed and tacked the horses hundreds of times, answered countless questions, and sweated buckets of sweat.  We've had our frustrating, annoying, and dramatic moments with campers and horses that don't cooperate.  There's been drama within and around us.  Adventurous moments on trail rides with horse flies that attack without cause, turtles that block the path, deer that crash through the forest, and campers that are convinced that their horse is "Outta control" while walking down the path.  I've graded hundreds of tests with answers that make me laugh, make me shake my head, and answers I couldn't even read. Ridden onstage on stick horses to hand out awards while nearly passing out due to the heat.  Carried over 200 bags of feed down the barn aisle to feed horses day in and day out.  Filled the water troughs that seemed to never stay filled.  Gotten up before everyone else at camp to go run in the horses for yet another early morning trail ride, with a low fog still covering the ground and dew on the grass.

Yet, throughout it all, we're still smiling!  Counselors are tired and worn out, sick and barely standing, but they don't want to leave this place that has become home.  What does camp do to us that puts us through the most tiresome weeks of our lives but leaves us wanting more?  I'm ready to move on to the fall, to put the 14 hour days behind me, and get back to my life again.  It's been a good summer.  Full of laughs.  Full of the little moments that transform our lives.  Thanks to my counselors for a great 2011 summer.  I hope some of them come back for 2012.  I know they will go home different from when they came.  They came in shy and soft spoken and most have found a side of them they never knew they had.  They grew as people, grew in their faith, grew in their character.  Remember to take a piece of camp with you wherever you go.

I'm Third.

Camp Tecumseh News » Early Morning Trail Ride

Camp Tecumseh News » Early Morning Trail Ride

Summer!

Here we sit, at the end of a successful week of camp.  We've had 3 successful weeks thus far.  That is not to say that they have been without challenges.  Each week has presented with unique yet equally challenging circumstances that have been placed in our way, most of which cannot be discussed.  Each day provided us with the opportunity....the opportunity to make a choice.  What attitude would we face the day with?  Would we allow ourselves to get bogged down in the enormity of tasks that needed to be completed by the end of the day?  Would we worry about what new challenges may come?  Would we grumble and complain about the circumstances we were currently in?  Personally, I can say that I have not always been successful in my choices.  I have allowed myself to break down under the weight of "all the things I have to do" or allowed frustration to take over in moments of weakness.  I've worked long and hard days, some lasting from 6 am to 8 pm. Sometimes feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and sleep deprived.  Then God comes along and reminds me of why I do my job and who I do it for.

I "get" the privilege of waking up earlier than most of camp three mornings a week to lead out early morning trail rides for our equestrian cabins.  This week, the sunrises were absolutely beautiful.  I wished I'd had my camera the first morning but I was blessed with a second beautiful sunrise.  There was a fog laying just above the ground and the sun peeking out just above that.  You can't tell, but as I had just rounded this corner, the horses were headed down the fence line in the fog mist.  A herd of 40 completely obscured from sight, but not from sound.  Absolutely gorgeous.  I work, every day, right in the middle of God's Creation, still broken by sin but absolutely amazing still.  Thanks!


Other times, I'm reminded of the campers and how much of an impact I make in their lives.  Sometimes they are tiring, ask endless questions, and never seem to stop saying my name in the barn aisle.  But when they race to see me, hug me tightly when they leave, and chant my name, I am still amazed of the impact we can have on these kids.  All I do is do my job.  I take care of the horses, I back up my counselors so they can do their jobs, and I pay attention to the kids who may or may not have someone at home who listens and pays attention to them.  I see them grow up over their time here.  Perhaps they go from a selfish bratty girl to the young lady who ends up earning our "Character Counts" award at the barn.  Or they're a shy withdrawn boy who grows up to be a man in front of me.  Or a young man who barely rides but with hard work and determination at camp (partially thanks to one determined instructor ;-) )  goes home with the Jr. Wrangler bolo in his last year and comes back to help when camp is no longer an option.  And countless other stories.  It's truly why we do the job.....to show the love of God to the kids.  And it's only through Him that we can continue to do the work we do, have the patience we have to have, and the ability to show love to those who aren't lovely.  Here's to another 6 weeks of crazy hours, hot and sweaty conditions, and whatever else God decides to allow in our path.  Things haven't been easy and I pray that no other circumstances are to be placed in front of us but one thing we know is that nothing is too great for our God to handle and I'm blessed to work with a staff that works together and has the right focus.  Until 12:30 pm tomorrow, it's movies, sleep, and relaxation.  After that, it's go-go mode!

With a Grieving and Heavy Heart

As I was sitting down to play euchre last Friday night, I began to see facebook posts show up on my phone concerning an old friend from high school.  I couldn't tell at first what had happened but I could tell that it was more than likely a grave and serious situation.  I searched online trying to find news and was shocked when I read on the Muncie Star's website that my former classmate, Nettie Peterson, just one year ahead of me in school, had been murdered.  Shocked....stunned....definitely two words that describe that Friday night.  I went home and began to read through the facebook news feed as I could tell that more and more of my former classmates were hearing of the tragic news and I felt like we were reaching out to one another through those posts.  We were a very small school (I think my class of 24 is still the largest to date!) and most of us grew up together, knowing each other from kindergarden on.  A lot of us had older brothers or sisters who knew each other, played ball with each other, or hung out together.  Usually, the younger brother or sister had to tag along on those outings so, as I said, you practically knew everyone and their family.  While we may not have been the best of friends with everyone in school, you knew everyone by name, you knew who their brother or sister was, and more than likely, your parents knew each other.  From concessions, Country Fairs, craft bazaars, and anything else that took place outside of school hours, you were likely to see everyone from school there.  We were our own community,family.  I knew Nettie coming up through school.   I had been to her house, knew her sisters, my brother knew her sisters, knew her mom, we played volleyball a few years together, sang in choir together, and the list goes on.  A short 32 years on this earth.  So when the news of her tragic death began to hit me, I was hit with such a heavy heart, one that hurt.  It's been 4 days since I learned of Nettie and I was still crying this morning.  I haven't had a chance to grieve myself, being in the midst of staff training here at camp and having others depend on me, so it comes out in stages.  Tears at the seemingly most random times when downtime allows a moment to think of what happened, a facebook post from another classmate pops up, or a random memory comes to mind. (I think of Camp Crosley and her getting stung on the lip by a bee because the bee had gotten down into her coke can. :-)  )  Then I think of her children, their lives ripped apart.  I think of her sisters, her mother, her friends and pray for a peace that surpasses all understanding.   My heart hurts and doesn't feel strong anymore.  I think of the lyrics from the song "Strong Enough".  "I give up, I'm not strong enough. Right now I'm asking You to be strong enough for the both of us."  So I give it all to Him, all the hurt, the sorrow, and let Him heal.  The Master Healer.  It was a life taken too soon, too violently, but now safe in the arms of God.  Someday Nettie, we'll see you again.  Until then, save a place for us.

31 Years and Counting

As I write this, the day of my 31st birthday is coming to a close.  It was a pretty ordinary day, much like most others during this time of year.  Except of course for the tremendous outpouring of love via facebook :-) and text messaging!  I rode a few horses, loaded up some hay, worked on summer games, and fed the animals.  After work consisted of Gavin's baseball game (they lost :-( ) and, being the birthday girl, I got to pick where we were going to eat.  Being that it was Delphi and later in the evening, options were limited so I went with Dairy Queen where I could get my famously unhealthy indulgence food.....chili cheese dog!!!  I do love those things and I don't know why.  A reeses blizzard, The Office, and Grey's Anatomy pretty much ended my evening.  Nothing too spectacular but I'm fairly content.  My parents sent me a beautiful arrangement of flowers that I was not expecting and, of course, no birthday is complete without a singing of the happy birthday song by David and family.  Those little voices wishing me a happy birthday never fails to bring a smile to my face.  Tomorrow's the 20th, much like the day after Christmas.  All week leads up to your birthday as you start to get greetings both via facebook and in person and then, after your big day, much like after Christmas, it all stops.  Not being dramatic, just an observation that makes me laugh.  :-)  Am I where I thought I'd be at 31?  In a word....no.  Am I okay with where I am at 31 years of age.....yes.  Sure, I thought that I'd have at least a couple of kids, a husband, and all that jazz.  I also thought I'd just have a job that made me some money and only hoped it'd make me happy.  Instead, I'm in a ministry, serving God, impacting kids lives and, by the world's standards, alone intimately.  I'm far from that.  I have a wonderful and loving family and great friends right by my side.  Yeah, I do come home to a mostly empty house but, for the most part, I'm okay with that.  I couldn't do what I do with a family waiting for me at home.  So, no, I'm not where I wanted to be but I sure am where I am supposed to be and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Just want to say thanks, on my birthday, to those who shaped me, brought me into this world, and support me in all I do.....Mom and Dad.  My mom always jokes that on my birthday, she should get presents for spending 6 weeks on her back to keep her pregnancy going.  She's probably not too far off.  So my present to them is to make them proud, to do what God wants me to do, and put them in a good retirement home......and no joke, my mom says that last part to me ALL THE TIME!!  So don't think I came up with that.  :-)  I say goodnight and goodbye to the last 30 years and here's hoping I'm not where I think I'll be in 30 more.....if you get my drift.  His plan is so much better than ours.....